RiseUp – Live Joy Your Way
by Kamini Wood
April 22, 2022 4:19 am
Kamini Wood works with high achievers on letting go of stress, overwhelm and anxiety that comes with trying to do everything, and trying to do it all perfectly
A relationship with a narcissist usually feels like a constant walking on eggshells and trying to avoid setting off narcissistic rage. Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self-worth and a lack of empathy where they always have the need to put their needs first. As a result, they have a need to control and manipulate the relationship that makes their partner feel like they can do nothing right.
So, what is hoovering? Hoovering is the manipulation strategy and type of emotional abuse that narcissists use to keep their victims stuck in the toxic relationship. In an attempt to test whether or not their victim can be pulled back, the narcissist may start to hoover. They use this manipulation through lies to convince them to come back to the dysfunctional relationship.
Narcissists hoovering can cause emotional and physical distress to the person on the receiving end because it keeps them stuck in the abusive cycle. Why do narcissists hoover? The narcissist needs the other person to feed their ego constantly and if that supply seems to be gone, they will try to hoover and pull that person back.
There are nine signs of hoovering and they are: love bombing, dramatic declarations, making accusations, threatening to harm themselves and receiving random texts or calls like pretending nothing has happened. They spread fake gossip, make big promises, apologize and tell you they’ve changed or create fake emergencies to bring you back to the fold of the relationship.
How do you respond to a narcissist hoovering? The key is having boundaries and reaching out to your support system for them to help you hold those boundaries. It’s important to recognize that hoovering is a manipulation tactic. Once you understand that, you will be able to equip yourself with ways on how to respond.
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