A Path to Wholeness: Messages from Creation

Welcome to A Path to Wholeness: Messages from Creation, with your host Alexandra Charles. In this series, we explore real dreams, messages, signs, & personal stories from lies to truth; worry to mindfulness; pain to healing; mistrust to faith; darkness to light.

Show Notes:

In this episode, we continue the 5-part series breaking down personality structures and focus on the Displaced or Psychopathic Structure which is rooted in power, manipulation, and seduction. These individuals have an ideal picture of themselves and have strong feelings of superiority and contempt.

The psychopathic structure holds up against fear of failure and defeat. He is torn between his dependency on people and his need to control them. He fears being controlled and used and he is afraid to be put in the position of victim, which is totally humiliating to him. Sexuality is used in power play; pleasure is secondary to his conquest. He tries not to express his needs by making others need him.

So what’s the root cause of this structure? As a child, he was in a triangle with his parents and had to choose a side. He found it hard to get support from the parent of the same sex. So he sided with the parent of the opposite sex,; when he couldn’t get what he needed, he felt betrayed and then compensated by manipulating that parent. As a result, he tried to control anyone and everyone- teacher, friends, family… How does he control others– by bullying and undermining them. They are often high achievers. . The parent he sided with made him think he is better than others and made him feel bigger than life, normally for their own narcissist reasons. Let’s talk about this statement for a moment.

The Mayo Clinic describes a narcissistic personality as a disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultra confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

Narcissist parents tend to be extremely rigid when it comes to the behaviors and achievements of their children. They work hard to instill in the child an image of how they wanted the child to be in order for the adults to feel good about themselves .They are raising the child to feel that they are better than others.

The child will keep their parents on their toes. A psychopathic child may display menacing behaviors like fire-setting, cruelty to animals or other children, temper-tantrums, premature sexual behavior, but at the same time be very high achievers academically, the arts or sports. They can also appear to be fearless and won’t give into crying when hurt.

Maybe you’re listening to this and thinking you’re unintentionally raising a child that’s building this inflated persona. The good news is there is hope.

Here are 5 behaviors you can curb to reverse the course of this psychopathic structure

– Stop posting your child’s report card on FaceBook! It’s boastful and pretentious and it’s creating enormous pressure on your child to over achieve.
– Stop insisting your child has the BEST of something– birthday party, wardrobe, the best experience
– Stop exaggerating their talents – you’re creating a preoccupation regarding that matter. Now little Donny is on a power trip! Needs to be the best. Won’t concede.
– Stop asking everyone around him to make special concessions for your child. What you’re doing is teaching your child rules can be broken and they can get their way out of anything!
– Stop the entitlement and excessive admiration to boost your own ego.

As for your child, the goal with this personality type is to gradually deflate, helping them make contact with friends, family and feel like a human being. Grounding is key here. Get them involved in a global cause or a charity of some sort. Be sure you’re giving them household chores. There’s something very grounding about cleaning the bathroom every Saturday morning! Get them involved in a fun activity with other kids their age. Place emphasis on the team effort involved in that activity – this way there isn’t an emphasis on their individual performance. This will help your child value relationships and not be self-consuming.