What It’s Like To Be You

Ever wonder what’s really going on in other people’s heads? The Enneagram knows. In these intimate conversations with people of different Enneagram types, we go past the facade of image management and self-presentation to the real stuff on the inside.

Gray and I have similar typing, and in this episode we explore what social 3 is “really wanting,” underneath the stereotypical social 3’s polish and comportment. This conversation gets to the heart of the Social 3 in a way that meant a lot to me personally. Enjoy.

Gray’s YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/AugmentedPersonality

My website: https://www.joshlavine.com/

YouTube version: https://youtu.be/omMHtMOdB0g

Timestamps:

0:00 Intro

3:05 Dropping in as social 3s; “camera on!” “I want to be real, but that doesn’t mean my brain agrees that that’s safe”; comfort in the metaconversation

6:22 Enneagram origin story; “essence” orientation & you’re doing your type every 5 seconds; “I have to be an emblem of value”

13:07 3 going to 6; Sense of responsibility to bring this knowledge into the world; Surrendering your sword to something higher..

21:29 Triple-reactive adjacent 3 — romanticizing my reactivity to make it an image I want to have, to give myself permission to be that way

30:57 Tracking other people

34:09 Gray’s 6-fix inner ping pong ball, saying something and then reacting to what she just said, without prompting

36:14 9-fix vs 8-fix experience of social “vibe”; how secondary 6-fix supports Gray’s “tracking”

44:40 Awareness of eyes on you; 8th grade performance story

50:15 Heart center & the gaze; when we’re looking from behind our eyes at each other, all of a sudden, here we are together

52:56 What the social 3 is *really* wanting (!) beyond the song and dance (which is a bid for this)

56:45 Grief that the world is so dry of heart; frustration in the heart space

1:03:34 The “role and purpose of 3,” according to Gray; seeing people accurately

1:09:55 Seeing & admiring preciousness; yet resisting “going there” with people

1:14:33 3’s need for psychological safety as a precondition to show up — and the growth for 3s to be authentic to BRING ABOUT psychological safety; risking being missed (the initial miss, to happen again)

1:21:12 What’s this been like for you?

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Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay

Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/

Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/

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#enneagram #enneagramtypes #enneagram3 #enneagramtype3 #enneagraminterview